Tuesday, December 6, 2011

What is Contentment?

Paul told us he was content in all things. I have always been encourage and believed I should be content in whatever circumstance. I have tried to do that. Tried to find a state of contentment when times are hard or times are easy. Tried to be content working a “normal job” when all I wanted to do was be a missionary. Tried to be content being a missionary when all I wanted to do was go back to the states and eat taco bell.

What is the point of all the trying? The point is that we are so often trying to find contentment outside our self. Trying to find an external state of contentment rather then coming to an internal conclusion. I am a bought paid for child of the living God. Contentment should be generated from the inside, from what Christ has done in me. From He who is dwelling in me.

Looking back I think the greatest thing that has happened in our time here is that I no longer feel the need to prove anything. I don’t feel the need to post results. I am not concerned with what I have to report. The amazing thing is this allows me to see more clearly the results that have happened. From changes in Brazilian friends, Christians I can see we have impacted. Too people we have heard are back involved with the Church in Foz.

There was a point I was really discouraged. The ministry we had been doing seemed to fall a part and end. The Saturday lunches and the kids ministry both came to a mostly unsatisfying end. They just kind of petered out. At the time there were no obvious results. I knew we had impacted people and obeyed God but there wasn’t any tangible person I could say changed. This is often the reality of ministry. You put a lot of time in and don’t know if anything worked.

It was really frustrating. I felt like people were supporting us and I didn’t know if we were worth it. I want to show results for the money people sacrifice for us to be here. The truth is my part is only to obey. Results are in the hands of God. True contentment comes when we accept we are God’s child, a prince (or princess) in a spiritual kingdom. Our part is to obey and represent. There is but one king, God. He is my loving father and I only need to live to please Him. He has asked me to live in Brazil, He sustains me, He leads me to tasks. What if anything comes from that is up to Him.

If I am looking for the results of ministry, family, church, comforts of where I live to satisfy me I will always be disappointed. If I live each day trying to please Him and trusting Him to do with me what He will I will not only be content but satisfied.

The funny thing is God is far more concerned with the results then me but He desires HIs results. I recently heard a report from Foz that several of the people we had been ministering to on Saturdays have started going to church again. One man Marcos was using crack and living on the streets. Heitor and I tried to help him get into a rehab center but he didn’t get in. I was blessed to be at a service in Foz a few weeks ago when he showed up to tell us he completed a program, had a home and was starting to work. Friends in foz tell me Marcos is doing very well. God produced fruit from what I thought fizzled.

Also Nelson, a fairly eccentric man that lives in his car and sells goods on the streets. He got connected through Saturdays. He has started coming to the church again. He is back together with his girlfriend. They have upgraded cars to a VW van and are asking Heitor to marry them. There has been fruit, it just took more time then I wanted.

I can’t say I have completely left behind the feelings on searching for validation in results. I can say I am much more content just being me. I am beginning to get it. I can say I can think about moving my family out to live on the river because I know we don’t have too. We are free. God is good. If we want to move back to Oregon or to Kansas we can. I wont be any more complete living on the river, in Africa, in Albany. Contentment, completing who I am comes only from relationship with my savior. I am here because as God’s child I will obey Him and am excited to see what He does with it. As long as He asks me to remain I will remain. Whether it is easy or hard, whether we receive support or struggle, whether thousands get saved or no one. We just need to remain, to obey, to be content being God’s child.

Yesterday a beautiful thing happened. Daniel got up and started reading his bible. He has completed the Samuels and is into Kings. It reminded me to get my reading done. What more can I ask to see then to see my kids desiring God. Even if war stories are a part of the motivation.

Thank you all so much. Remember if you want to help us remain click on the donate link on the right just below the picture of the kids.

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