We are out of our house and free to begin planning our move. Free to scout out Corumba’ to be sure we are hearing rightly from the Lord. Free from the worry and stress over losing out deposit and the injustice of house rental in Brazil (at least for the moment). I should be relieved and excited, instead I find myself flat. Not excited, not frustrated, not joyful, not depressed just flat. As I sit here this morning, thankful to see Melissa excited about a trip to Corumba I begin to realize why my heart is empty.
I had been focusing on me, my family a bit, loosing supporters money, the injustice of being asked to paint a house inside and out for thousands of dollars, focused on lots of things. Unfortunately the Lord wasn’t my focus anymore. Instead of seeking Him each day I have been waking up, trying to get out of the house, find leverage to use in the deal with the landlord, think of how to make the next month work. Very little of my time, in all honesty, has went into abiding.
This isn’t the first stressful or frustrating relationship breakdown I have ever had. Yes he asked for such unreasonable things it left no room to meet in the middle. Yes I would have liked to have a friendly ending. So what. I have learned that these things can only bother you while you are going through them. They are only worth the stress equal to the amount of time you will remember it in the future. I will have forgotten this in 2 weeks, barring no further problems.
I have a loving savior that desires my time, a loving father that has gently led and called me to Brazil. I interact every week with an incredible culture, going into a favela, teaching a little bible study in the home of some teenage girls. Perhaps having an impact that will last long after I am gone. I am forgiven of the way I treated my family during the stress. Forgiven of the daily shortcomings I can’t overcome. Why is that sometimes not enough to keep me focused on the one who has done it all. Colossians tells us all things will be brought together in Christ, he is all in all. Nothing else should matter.
I don’t want to get caught up in my struggles as a missionary in a foreign land. I want to remember to seek God, love Him, serve Him, pray for my friends and family. I hope you all feel free to write us and ask for prayer. We often have time. I want to be as concerned with the needs of all our friends back Home as I am with mine and those around me. It is just hard sometimes. I often feel like I am on an island, there are people around me but I am different. Only my needs exist and perhaps I begin to ignore the lives of those around and those at home. This breaks the purpose of the love one another relationships we were created for and begins to eat away at me inside.
Pray I get on track with daily seeking the Lord. Pray I lead my family in times of prayer for others. We have done this much of the time here but with stressful situations you can get thrown off course. In the next couple transitional months pray we get back on track quickly with the most important thing. Seeking the Lord, daily time in the word with no agenda. Abiding, seeking, obeying, loving and caring for others.
I had been focusing on me, my family a bit, loosing supporters money, the injustice of being asked to paint a house inside and out for thousands of dollars, focused on lots of things. Unfortunately the Lord wasn’t my focus anymore. Instead of seeking Him each day I have been waking up, trying to get out of the house, find leverage to use in the deal with the landlord, think of how to make the next month work. Very little of my time, in all honesty, has went into abiding.
This isn’t the first stressful or frustrating relationship breakdown I have ever had. Yes he asked for such unreasonable things it left no room to meet in the middle. Yes I would have liked to have a friendly ending. So what. I have learned that these things can only bother you while you are going through them. They are only worth the stress equal to the amount of time you will remember it in the future. I will have forgotten this in 2 weeks, barring no further problems.
I have a loving savior that desires my time, a loving father that has gently led and called me to Brazil. I interact every week with an incredible culture, going into a favela, teaching a little bible study in the home of some teenage girls. Perhaps having an impact that will last long after I am gone. I am forgiven of the way I treated my family during the stress. Forgiven of the daily shortcomings I can’t overcome. Why is that sometimes not enough to keep me focused on the one who has done it all. Colossians tells us all things will be brought together in Christ, he is all in all. Nothing else should matter.
I don’t want to get caught up in my struggles as a missionary in a foreign land. I want to remember to seek God, love Him, serve Him, pray for my friends and family. I hope you all feel free to write us and ask for prayer. We often have time. I want to be as concerned with the needs of all our friends back Home as I am with mine and those around me. It is just hard sometimes. I often feel like I am on an island, there are people around me but I am different. Only my needs exist and perhaps I begin to ignore the lives of those around and those at home. This breaks the purpose of the love one another relationships we were created for and begins to eat away at me inside.
Pray I get on track with daily seeking the Lord. Pray I lead my family in times of prayer for others. We have done this much of the time here but with stressful situations you can get thrown off course. In the next couple transitional months pray we get back on track quickly with the most important thing. Seeking the Lord, daily time in the word with no agenda. Abiding, seeking, obeying, loving and caring for others.
I will offer up your requests in prayer. You can be sure He will be faithful to answer the desires of your heart and He will provide according to His Righteousness. Rest knowing He is keeping you and your family in His love and will. Although you know already I still want to remind you that He loves and cares for the hearts of your family as much as he does about those who you are ministering to! Thank you so much for taking the time to share about your lives there.
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