Youthful Energy

There is something very contagious and exciting about being around youth. For me it is those last teen years and beginning of adult hood that is perhaps most exciting. I remember as I was about to turn 18 taking our youth group to gleanings for the hungry,  a ministry of youth with a mission that dries and processes food for hungry people around the world. While there the founder asked me to stay the rest of the summer and give a hand to hosting other groups and running the plant. My farm back ground made me valuable I suppose and as I had just graduated I decided to stay. While there not only did Wally have further impact in my life an Anglican priest called Father Rob and another man Dave Hebert both had extremely profound influence on me. This was the time in my life where my relationship with God had been transforming into an adult relationship. Dave really influenced me towards doing a school with youth with a mission. These were men influencing a young man, being used by God to place the foundations in his life that would eventually lead me to where I am today and where I will ultimately end up.

As we begin to experiment with an English business as a way to connect more deeply with the culture we have faced many struggles. Not the least of which was the passing of someone who had become a dear friend in a short time. We were home less than a week before we said goodbye to Sergio, someone who had been involved in nearly everything we have done. We have had a few problems with our house which somehow are the renters responsibility. We are unsure how to pay for the kids books, tuition and uniforms. Should we be investing more money in our VW Van to try and get it licensed, it really doesn’t work for us here and we need something else but without documents could we even sell it, how much of a loss would we take. English may or may not help, so far we have spent a little money and are looking at spending more. I believe it is what God is calling me to and believe it may eventually allow us to one day be financially able to support ourselves but for now remains an expense. I know things take time.

Those are just the normal challenges we face. Those things were pretty overwhelming when we first arrived in Rio. Today though they are just details, things that will work out with time. Largely because what we have seen so far as we attempt to get some English classes going is that we are engaging that age group. I am tired, spent and feel empty like all the energy I poured out this last week may come to nothing. It feels good. I have sat in a printing office with a bunch of youth from the community next to us laughing as they attempt English. Been at a church meeting with the Pastor about the classes we will start the 13th of February as a bunch of curious youth look on. He is excited to see his church used as a way to both bless the community and allow us to perhaps make a bit of money. He wants to start showing movies in English on Mondays with subtitles in Portuguese to piggy back on the English, to attract non church kids in a non threatening way.

I find myself both spent but rejuvenated. The flesh still hopes for failure at times, that I might have an excuse to see myself with a little cabinet shop back in the Midwest on a little farm with motorcycles, chickens and a cow or two. The flesh is always going to like the sound of winning the lottery. The temptation comes as I know that if I put out this effort in the US there will be a financial reward. Here I just am not sure.

The issue is though that we don’t labor for financial gain, we aren’t doing this to make money but to be more effective missionaries. As I do this I understand why Pr. Jeff Jackson told me if he could do his time serving in the Philippines again he would teach English, I understand now why he recommended it so highly to us and to others. I have done nothing in missions so far that has so instantly connected me with that wealth of energy, excitement and passion that is young adult hood.

We have had success, soccer schools, prison ministry, girls club Melissa is still doing the girls club and is very effective with a those girls. The thing is though as youth get older they don’t want to participate. They are too cool to go to the soccer school or a girls club. To involved in sex, drugs and whatever else. It is hard to grab them.

English seems to be bridging that gap, connecting us with the age that can and will change their nation. Connecting us with rich and poor, Christian and non giving us a voice in a generation that is active, alive and waiting on the possibilities life holds for them. It gives us an identity that business men and community leaders respect. It is opening doors at the kids school. It is early but it is exciting. I love being with 17-25 year olds and can’t wait to start tutoring Renato and Rafeal next week. I can’t wait to meet their pastor who has a church full of young people. I can’t wait to start at the Baptist church in Jardim Olympio and get to know that group of kids more. Who knows who will be the next pastor, leader, business man. Who knows if I can have a similar impact that those men had in my life at such a formational time. I am thankful for the opportunity to continue to learn.

We also are thankful that Moriah will be able to start school the 3rd of Feb. That they will continue to work with her through the year to finish her evaluations instead of her being forced to finish them all first. We are thankful that the church in Jardim Olympio will be starting these movie nights, that our ministry direction may prove to be part of the cure.

Please continue to pray

• Moriah’s adaptation to Brazialian school and teen culture
• Students for our English classes
• Wisdom for where and when to offer classes
• Finances as we need provision for school and a new car

Season of change

We were recently blessed to be able to visit family and church family in Oregon. My (Ben) grandparents were in need of encouragement and a visit as they continue to age and prepare for some big changes in their relatively near future. It was a great time, we actually were able to have my sisters, parents, grandparents and all the kids together again at  Christmas time. It used to be a normal for us but had become something unlikely as we all live in different parts of the world. It proved to be a different experience than we expected as much of it was spent helping with doctors, dentists and all sorts of other errands as my Grandfather and one of my dad’s uncles are no longer able to be alone.

The interesting thing  about this trip is that it wasn’t necessarily refreshing. The other time we have visited the US we had longer, we were able to see Melissa’s family as well, we weren’t in a hurry. More than that we weren’t in the season of change we have been in. We had been fairly well established in Corumba, were tired and needed a good break. It was exciting, full of bbqs and camping. Summer in Oregon is great. This trip happened shortly after a big move with little settled as to what life in Rio will be for us. Yes we have some things going with Calvary Rio, a girls club locally, involvement with local families and getting the kids in school. However culture shock to living in a city of 12 million is going to take a while to get over.

This sense of uncertainty and flux wasn’t helped by leaving 95 degree weather arriving in Oregon for a record breaking cold storm that wound up with –5. Don’t miss understand it was a great time and sad to leave but it was full of uncertainty, change and uneasiness. We had little time to adjust to being in the states, I went from the airport to grandma’s to fix a broken pipe, next day we were sliding around in the snow, sitting with grandpa while grandma went to the dentist. We or I never had that sense of our feet being under us, my parents no longer maintain a home there, my sisters have moved out of state, our church was full of new faces, has two services instead of one, friends were busy with Christmas and we just seemed a bit lost, out of place in time.

As we have arrived home it doesn’t go away. That is the interesting thing about a season of change, every small decision becomes a monumental task. One of the big challenges for us is to finish the process of getting Moriah into school. This has been a major battle, the school is being very helpful but her fear of going to school here has blocked her from fully committing herself to preparation. It is hard for me to feel like I have to fight my little girl to get her to study. I want to hold her on my lap not push her to concentrate. This isn’t an abnormal experience for a parent of a new teen but an abnormal situation. Part of the stress is normal part though is the fact that our first calling is to our kids. We have no energy left nor ability to fulfill any call we may have here if we don’t get her in a better educational and social situation. Our future may ride on her getting into school and developing relationship with others.

On top of this our growing desire over the last four years has been to move a bit more towards some sort of business in mission. Not that we necessarily could become fully self supported but more to be able to engage the community more as a part of it than an implant. Especially here in Brazil where we can see the church growing more and more capable before our eyes. I first came to Brazil in 97, there was a solid church and many solid Christians but nothing like there is today. Brazil for both good and bad is becoming a global church leader. We love it here but must question the validity of staying as a traditional missionary, in that we had and continue to see great possibility to learn about and become foreign business people here while providing a great resource to help people.

We would like to begin English classes that may lead to an English school. English is a door to a better life for many people as they can use it for better work in oil, in tourism and many other areas. Especially with World Cup and than the Olympics to be in Brazil and Rio.

This by no means we would quit to do many of the things we have been doing. Melissa will continue to grow her club to try and motivate girls to stay in school, have good friendships and avoid a lifestyle that is often self destructive. Girls have little to do here to keep them out of trouble and spend much of their time trying to be the most sexy. Also as we look to meet our own kids needs we see the possibility to use flag football to get more involved in the kids school but also perhaps to do a mini league in the area.

These things all are good and may well be the Lord. The challenge is that until we see more stability in Moriahs life it is more than difficult to gather energy to apply ourselves to them. To recruit English students, to start a football club or anything else new takes pep, spark. When you are overwhelmed by doubts as to whether your doing the best for your daughter, whether she would be better off to spend her high school years in the states. Should she live with your sister, should you all move back? Where does the energy come from when these questions hang over head.

This is our home, we are happy here. We are more a part of Brazil than we are the US. However Moriah isn’t. She isn’t making friends, she isn’t engaging others but in fact has seemed to close up more. This was the big reason to move to Rio. I will say at church here she is more comfortable, doing a bit better. Pastor Alexandre and his wife have noticed and make great effort to help. We have the support structure here we need to deal with this if she will soften.

None of us would be upset to have a greater change. The US is easy and comfortable. I personally am always up for a new challenge, one of my strengths and weaknesses’. The idea of the kids in 4h playing sports and speaking English with friends is always appealing. However one does  not easily walk away from that which he feels called. That sense of purpose being in doing the work of God. I am aware though that kingdom mindedness is not dependent on location.

Now I have some similar experience to Moriah. I grew up partially on the farm than my parents went into YWAM. This was fairly traumatic to me, new schools I wasn’t much of a friend person anyways and we often traveled. When I was about the same age as Moriah my parents left YWAM not because of me to my knowledge. They moved back to the farm to help my Grandpa manage it to a point at which he could retire. I had a great difficulty adjusting back in school but looking back can see that it probably made the difference in keeping me able to become a semi normal person. Those teen years I was able to make a few new friends and stayed connected to one that I had made while we lived in YWAM. I had the farm, family and a bit more normal to get me through those confusing years.

We have little worry about Daniel, Juliah or /alannah. They are equally adapted here and there. We simply need much prayer for Moriah. We need great wisdom to know these next 6 months if she is adapting here, what is normal teenage stuff or if we need to be willing to take a break, to change direction more drastically for a season. If we are to stay in Brazil we need to see her healthy to see God provide students, finances for the kids school and a better car more suited to the city. I also want to make it clear Moriah isn’t asking to leave. She isn’t sure what she wants and knows she likes it here in many ways. She is just not as adapted as the others and school is a place that is hard enough for a teen girl much more so when you just aren’t the same.

Religiousity and Dogma

I am someone who is a definite product of the Northwest. Rules, structure, buildings, plans are a part of church sometimes considered necessary, tolerated and employed but almost begrudgingly. I love the idea of a free flowing Jesus that doesn't need structure, that isn't trapped in a building that sits with people in town squares and parks unburdened by the details of a church. However I do reluctantly admit that Jesus did teach in Synagogues and didn't fully throw out order. He certainly taught that he was bringing new wine to a new wine skin but said you desire to loose neither. Certainly I see God is a God of order, a creator, an engineer with a clear plan. The fact that he gave us the book of Revelation whatever flawed view of the book you hold too (don't worry I think everyone is wrong including me) it makes it clear God has a plan with a beginning and end, an ordained set of happenings.

I say this to explain when I get frustrated with Christianity, with "church" I  am not advocating anarchy. Especially after living in Rio a city on the verge of complete anarchy. The police do a traffic stop here with two officers heavily armed, for war, standing guard while the other approaches the car. The other day we were caught in traffic, arriving at the end there were around 50 police heavily armed behind there cars. What appeared to be a bullet struck the ground in front of us than what appeared to be another sprayed the passenger side where Melissa and Alannah sat with little rocks. Chaos sucks, it leads to traffic, abuse of power, corruption, disaster. As I write this blog I do not want chaos in my corporate relationship with God.

What  I want is to like Jesus with the Samaratin Woman at the well, I want to bypass the image of religion and get to the heart of the issue with people. My frustration with Church is more that we have gotten so comfortable in a structure people I interact with can easily fake it. Everyone to whom I say "I am a MISSIONARY" knows what to say and how to act. To be okay, to be left alone, to feel important. It is so hard to get past the religiousity to just know someone for who they are and to be known for who I am it often feels impossible to accomplish the task of making disciples.

When she began to realize Jesus was a spiritual man, a leader the wall went up, the image. Your fathers say this mountain ours say this what do you think. I doubt at all she cared the least about religion in general. She cared about very little probably. A woman who had five husbands and living with another guy simply was just surviving, likely simply trying to survive.

This woman seamingly so uninterested in religion then leaves the conversation completely transformed, invigerated and passionate. So much so she was used by God to go back to her town give testimony of what had happened leading to the whole town going to see Jesus and believe.

Brazil is so over evangelized right now that it has been hard for me to know how to approach my "job" here. When I would say I was a missionary the look on peoples face was so apparent. I suddenly went from wearing shorts, being a bald buck toothed fat guy to a flashy suit, big hair, shiny teeth big boobed blonde wife spraying you in the face with water I prayed over for 50 bucks TV preacher. The image is all over TV, billboards on the front of churches, cars driving by with speakers blaring on the roof. As soon I become that guy in their mind they either run away or play the game. Fight or flight.

I am not saying there aren't many bible believing Jesus loving believers here in Brazil. Praise God even the worst prosperity doctrine churches have seen many people come to know Jesus.

What I am saying is I want to make disciples and that when something has become so common it becomes more difficult to find reality. We all make mistakes we all fall short but the problem when religion grows so prevalent in our Christianity, when the culture of the service becomes so routine we become in danger of becoming mechanical. Pray this, sit here every Sunday, hide your sin a bit and we are doing good. However often our building is full of people desperate to escape the bonds of sin just as much as if they never went. Everyone knows the right thing to say but still manages to go home to live with their girlfriend, be angry, fight, struggle with porn whatever it may be.

Disciples make all these mistakes too but begin to recognize change is good and that we need one another to do it. The idea of organized church should be to create an environment where we do this for one anther. Encourage, uplift, edify and exhort, confess our sins to one anther, teach and grow stronger that we might win more.

Recently I have began to make a switch in how I approach people. I tell them I am trying to open an English school or going to be offering classes next year. We will be. This doesn't mean we are no longer missionaries, that is the task in front of every child of God. We are simply adding something to the girls club, home groups, thanks giving dinner at church that hopefully allows to bypass that overly religious image and get to know more people more deeply.

A few days ago I began to see the success of this strategy or the potential success. I approached the owner of the kids school a few weeks ago about advertising and perhaps holding an English class there. I left missions out of the conversation. I offered and asked about teaching a PE class or two on American Football as a way to get more involved as a father and potential businessman. He jumped on it and had the PE teacher come out.

Thursday Melissa and I had the joy of a hundred or more kids piling around us excited to know us without fear of what we might want. We went and did a 2 hour class and played flag football, thanks Jody. It was great and the teacher had the most fun of all. He asked us to come next year for all the classes. The older kids that didn't have a teacher show even sat on the side and watched. Being themselves, a couple girls even dancing perversely for the boys. It was awful and awesome. We weren't the missionaries or the pastors to be avoided we were the Americans they want to know.

There are 1000 students at the school. They nearly all want to learn English. They represent about 600 families. They have fathers and mothers, brothers, sisters, step families. 

We believe this is going to be a big part of how we begin to spread the gospel here. At the same time we continue to do our traditional stuff getting involved in the community in this way allows us deeper access and more opportunity to witness to those who we other wise wouldn't. On a scale I am not sure we are prepared for. Pray for us, that our faith would come through. That we would build long lasting relationships that provide opportunity to speak into these families lives. That God would direct those that not only want to learn English but those that would be open to him our way.

We don't know what the end result of English lessons will be, of English courses but we know we can be ordered and strategic without being in a box. We know God is opening doors in the kids school through Football and that English can attract those kids closer. We just want to respond to what God is doing and what He has put in us.

Above all else, if you read nothing else pray for Melissa and her girls. She has been doing this girls club a bit over a month. Girls here have little to do and many end up pregnant at a very young age. She has one girl about 14 that has a 2.5 year old boy. She has met with them once this week, will again tonight and is doing a clothing give away together with them tomorrow. There is no person I know better at bypassing religion than her. She makes a heart impact on so many hurting people. This is a vitally important ministry. Pray for more girls to come and for some volunteers to teach dance, sports and above all disciple these girls.
 

Breaking Through

In the last blog I opened myself up perhaps more than I should have but I hope to always communicate with a bit more honesty than is perhaps traditional of missionaries. I have strove not just to give the stories of people coming to Christ or changing but deal with the realities of what we go through. To open myself up and share what I am learning about myself and my God as we seek to obey him. Moving here, learning to live in a city was tough. God however is always faithful and always has something more in mind than we can see.

How amazing it was to find out as I dealt with some frustration and began to grow impatient in our desire to reach out I discovered our church prayed for us 2 times a day during their advent conspiracy prayer focus. The week they were praying not only did the darkness break we began to see vision to add too what God was doing already. Prayer works!!!

In the last blog I shared my frustration in trying to really reach people and disciple them in such an overly religious nation. It was frustrating to do an English night, selling pizza and have it limited by too many Christians. What I mean is, the Christians want so much to participate and come that the ration gets thrown off. The people you want to reach don’t come in because of the wall of eager to evangelize believers sitting across the front of the building. It isn't bad and often people do wind up coming to know the Lord through those kind of events.

However Melissa and I have been long been drawn to those wounded by the church and or alienated from it. This can be a hard line to walk, we desire fellowship with believers, want to be a further extension of the body of Christ but in both our own events and those of local bodies we feel stifled by the things that often keep the non believers away. We do have two things that are working, that are connecting with those who don’t have relationship. Melissa has a growing girls club that has several girls who don’t go to church coming and learning Gods word. She is teaching them dramas and they in return have done them in the praca. Girls world wide are often left out and have far less opportunity than men. That is true here and this is a vital ministry.

The other thing we began last night is to go and join in playing soccer with the weekly Friday night group. Defiantly not your traditional church environment. Just neighborhood guys playing soccer. They didn’t talk much with us and were sure curious but no doubt this will pay off.

What we will be adding is something we have played with a little. We had an encouraging call with Jeff Jackson from Shepherds Staff. He spoke some things to us about pursuing English that definitely struck a cord with our hearts. This also was in the midst of the week of prayer from our church. We are now beginning to pursue some English students. We believe this is a way to build relationship with people based on who they and we are outside the presumptions that come with MISSIONARY.

Anyways we appreciate you all, appreciate your prayers and I appreciate your patience as I often have and will probably continue to open my heart to you as I process what is God doing and am I continuing to obey him rightly?

Jumping in an Ice Cold River

After a few months in Rio I (Ben) find myself limping. I am sure a great deal of it is kind of a reverse culture shock leaving the isolation and remoteness of Corumba for a big city. There is no doubt a system shock that comes from starting over again as well.

I grew up swimming in rivers on the west coast, fed by the mountains. I remember several times after weeks of swimming in comfortable water, showing up jumping in and getting a shock. Heart racing, body feeling like a thousand needles stuck in you. Several times, it was always after a heat wave or during one. The snow up in the mountains would have started to melt fast and ice water showed up on the valley floors. I remember one time on the kings river in California, it was about 110 out and the water couldn't have been much more than 60. I thought I would die.

That is how I have felt here lately. We suddenly uprooted moved over a 1000 miles and jumped right into ministry. Suddenly my body is convulsing, my heart is racing and I just want out of the water.

We have been involved in getting some home groups going. We have a bible study out here in our neighborhood on Tuesdays, the church came out and did a kids event. It was fun working with Moriah to build a ski ball like game and bean bag toss. We experimented last Friday with free English lessons and selling Pizza. We are busy.

One of the most exciting things was Melissa starting a girls club. She found an unmet need and began to meet it last Saturday. Her and a couple Brazilian friends look to continue this exciting ministry.

The thing for me has been feeling like why are we doing missions over the top of Brazilian churches. We are in a heavily churched area. I will be the first one to tell you that the issue is to obey God and that every area, region, neighborhood, country, city in the world needs more missions as long as there are hearts rebellious to God.

The fact is though, Melissa and I have grown more and more hungry to reach the less reached, Corumba felt like training for going further and Rio feels like a step back. Our kids need this, it is a season but for me finding passion for what we are doing has proved more than hard. Anyone who has read the blog over the years knows that if I err it is on the side of brutal honesty.

So here it is, Brazil is more than a reached nation. It is a more Christian nation than the US. Where does that leave me? Well it isn't only a reached nation it is becoming the biggest sending nation in the world. Brazil is producing missionaries and this is where God has me with a frustrated missions heart.

How do I turn that frustration into a positive, do I decide this is pointless and go home when everything I am is a missionary? This is who God created me to be. Do I assume all the miracles God did to demonstrate the call to Rio was wrong?

As we continue to tackle tough questions. As we continue to involve ourselves in the lives of those around us. As we continue to try and socially better the lives of those around us how do I give way to this missions heart.

Pray for us as we begin to tackle taking steps foward

• We want to seek and find the different comunities that have come here (Muslim, Chinese...)
• We want t0 disciple young Brazilian Christians that our excited to be a part of Mission
• We want to lead teams from Calvary Rio to Bolivia, Egypt and who knows
• We especially want to see kids who come to know Christ in the project here grow to be one day sent where we ourselves are not yet sent
• Pray Melissa and I will be able to go to Egypt next spring and take a group to visit Renata a friend serving there

In the end I definately need prayer. I am loosing the abiltiy to cope with the stresses and problems I face. My energy is low, I am thankful to Melissa for pulling me along. However in my spirit I choose to be excited to be in the heart of Brazil, the next great missionary sending nation of the world. I choose to be excited to be a part of what God is doing here and to participate in seeing them fulfill their destiny. I choose to rely on Him not me. I choose to know His purposes in what often feels like a step back is much more likely a great leap forward.

Lost in the Big City

There is no doubt both me and my dad are just a couple of country boys lost in the big city. It can be overwhelming, stressful and begin to eat away at your confidence and desire to live. It can also be exciting, adventurous and a real joy. You have your days at the Zoo with a Lion roaring in your face and you have your days stuck in 2.5 hours of traffic because some *%*# started a fire in the middle of the freeway to protest something.

The funny thing is watching my father struggle in such similar ways. For those of you who don’t know we have been able to partner with my parents here in Rio. We wont be doing all of the same things but we have rented the two apartments in an upstairs downstairs duplex.

The thing is God has made it abundantly clear that this is where He has called us. The last few years we have done soccer ministry, food ministry, visited people door to door, given out clothes, home bible studies and much more. We have seen fruit but as many of you who read this blog know I have felt more and more called to take more responsibility for the long term discipleship of the people we are working with.

2 years ago when we were getting ready to perhaps leave Foz one of the options had been to look for a building to move the ministry we had been doing with kids and families from the favela into our own location. To grow these and hopefully see them turn into a church. The timing didn’t feel right even though the people and the pieces seemed there. As it turned out a few months after we moved to Corumba the Government moved all the people and leveled the favela. The ministry would have halted. God knew that wasn’t the location or the timing to see social ministry and discipleship incorporated into a body life.

Our time in Corumba was filled with physical and health challenges but much great ministry. We miss deeply the kids from soccer. People from the orphanage, people from the churches. As we ministered there my heart just became more burdened not to leave people to go find a church but to take responsibility for them. We began to pray how to take steps forward, were we to “plant a church" how would that be connected to a work in Brazil?

At that time Pastor Alex of Calvary Rio began to again ask us to consider moving to the greater Rio area and minister here in the district of Xerem. We came and looked and even though this country boy didn’t want to live here eventually God changed his heart.

Where we are now. The same or similar necessity of social ministry exists. People need food, kids need something productive to do, families need counseling it is all here. We have a small house we are preparing for ministry. We have a local church that will cover the work with the desire to see it become a church.

I am nervous and struggling with the realities of living in this city. It is expensive, consumes time, energy and much more. I know I need to be more disciplined, have a clear schedule for study, for communication, for prayer, for ministry, for fun. It demands a step forward personally.

We don’t have a lot of ministry to report so far but we have connected with the family that owns the house we will minister in. The owners are a stable successful business owning family. They have blessed us tremendously. Her sister who lives near us and her husband are sick. She has chronic arthritis and can’t work, her husband is a truck driver who has aids and can’t find work anymore, they have a 15 year old daughter and 20 year old son. We have begun a bible study with them that various others come too.

We have begun to connect with the young couple across the street. They have just opened a shop to work on motorcycles. It is starting slow and they often just sit out front. What an opportunity to just do something simple like take them cookies or invite them to have lunch here.

I have been working to build relationship with a guy who is a community leader. Works, has a little restaurant, building something for his family.

Also very importantly we are part of the leadership at Calvary Rio. A small church that is growing. As the leaders of the ministry here and leaders with youth in the church we are part of a team that looks to grow our impact on the overall city. We are teaching a youth  class, helping with a home church close to us and leading the ministry here.

We are just getting going but everything we have done the last 3 years seams to have built towards this opportunity to bring it al together. To see what we are good at result in something needed. New body for new believers.

We appreciate your continued prayers, we couldn’t be here alone.

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