Through the Fog

Sometimes in life as you listen to God you turn onto a road that seams easy and bright. Next thing you know you feel like you are in a dark forest with a heavy fog wondering if you heard God or perhaps if He is even there. Thankfully those dark, unsure tests of faith don’t last forever. Eventually you pass through to the other side where you can see clearly once again.

I think we are passing through one of those times. We chose to move to Corumba, began communicating and planning. Everything looked easy and bright. Then came the doubts and fears. We don’t have enough money, it is too far, too hot, too everything. Maybe we should go to Rio, be by the beach, connect with ministries there that have funding connections? Maybe we should rent a house here and work with YWAM? All sorts of doubts enter.

Praise God for these tests of faith. When I was in YWAM Los Angeles we used to say look to God’s face not His hand. I believe that is what God is saying to us now. We don’t know how this is going to work. We don’t have a house lined up. We don’t have the funds to move our stuff. We don’t have the ability to do this without a miracle from God. What better time to obey? There is no way we can take credit and no way we can take it for granted. Only by God, through God and with God can we move on. He is calling us He will finish the work He has completed.

The amazing thing is looking back over the last few weeks we see so many lessons learned in such a short time. So many confirmations. We have been resting and praying here at the YWAM base. We had the opportunity to receive my parents and help them get started on their 4 month trial run. We were blessed to be able to do outreach with the base in the favela down the hill. To invite kids to a program at the local Methodist church they are currently serving.

Jocum (ywam) Outreach VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

God has used this time to confirm in our hearts we are called. Without a doubt He has called us to missions. First as with all, to love Him. We however have the unique call to serve as long term, foreign missionaries. As a part of this, it is also confirmed that at least for now and probably forever that call is to the poor, broken and hurting of the world. Also that the best door to knock on is the kids. They open the door to the entire family. Also God is confirming my desire to plant churches and raise up pastors in their communities.

He also is confirming it is our time to move on. To go in faith to Corumba, or probably wherever we would choose, to step out and lead. To create and pioneer ministries and inroads with those who don’t know Jesus. We haven’t been lazy. We have learned language, culture, touched lives. Connected with churches, jocum, students at semear, ran a feeding program for the hurting, did youth groups, outreach in a favela, children’s ministry and much more. However it is time to focus on growing long term works.

Time to lead. Sometimes that will mean walking down easy roads but sometimes it will mean keep going in the dark forest. Don’t quit until we get to the other side. Be praying for us. We are following Jesus and hopefully leading others to Him.

We are moving. We will need to see significant provision for the moving expenses. We will need to see a house. We also are going to concentrate on raising our monthly support as that has dwindled the last three months.

We love and appreciate you all.

If you would like to be a monthly supporter click on this link:

http://shepsstaff.org/lyon.aspx

or mail a check to:

Shepherd's Staff Mission Facilitators

PO Box 53640

Albuquerque, NM 87153-3640

with the account number 4604 attached and in the memo

Wow

We just returned to Foz do Iguacu from a scouting trip to Corumba. I still have many hours of prayer to process all that happened but want to share some early thoughts with you. There is very little doubt left in our minds this is where God is calling us. Maybe a touch when we remember the heat, the bugs, the heat, the remoteness, the heat, attacks from the enemy, oh and did I mention the heat. It was by far the hottest place we have ever been. It is early spring in Brazil and it was hot the second the sun was up. Sometimes late at night there was a comfortable breeze but for the most part we just sweated.

Alannah had the hardest time with the heat. She had heat rash, was constantly covered in sweat and got several mosquito bites but was pleasant most of the time. Too illustrate the heat there, most of the showers we seen don’t even have the ability for hot water.

On to the good. We really enjoyed the journey there and back. We seen a lot of open country and many animals. Including, Emus, deer, toucans, parrots, foxes, cranes, giant man eating cranes, enormous demon possessed road runners and much more.

When we arrived in Corumba we got a hotel. It was pretty dirty and certainly didn’t have any other families there but it was cheap and had air.

We began staying at this church the next day. While there we were able to attend an annual meeting of the Baptist churches for the state of Mato Grosso do Sul. We met many more people then you normally would in a six month period.

The kids were welcomed like we couldn’t believe. They were almost celebrities. I guess it isn’t every day a family of 6 Americans shows up at the end of the world. We were so blessed to see them make so many good friends.

For us and our ministry it was an incredible time. First of all the association of Baptist churches there is strong and committed to outreach. They are very welcoming of us and I got the chance to get to know two of them fairly well, at least for a 4 day period. They are currently reaching out to the ribeirinhos and have the desire to touch the less reached neighborhoods of Corumba. There was an American missionary presence there 10 years ago with the IMB (Southern Baptist). They left behind a good amount of structures and facilities for outreach. This looks like a relationship that could grow, they have an unused chapel in a neighborhood we may be able to do some kids stuff in.

One thing that came out of their presence there, the former missionary started an organization to continue ministering there. The Imb has changed focus to mega cities and tribes. They have purchased a small farm, have a missionary that arrived last April to oversee it and are currently praying for workers. Their vision for this property lines up very closely with what we desired to go there and do. It is early but this appears to be a work of the Lord. We went on faith and were encountered buy a Mississippian named Buster who couldn’t believe another American was there, much less a family wanting to live there.

There were plenty of challenges, we had some scares, I had a baby tarantula land on my shoulder, we face difficulty with the heat and much more. Nothing will be easy. There is much mocumba (Brazilian witchcraft) and Satanism there. The poor are very much wrapped up in that and spiritism. However the ability to do the things God has placed in our heart is ripe. Some buildings will need built, some money will be needed but God is able.

I could go on forever about all that happened there and could happen in the future. It is early though and what God will do is in His hands not ours. The point is this is where God is calling us and he has paved the way. Be praying, the warfare is thick but we are moving forward.

Corumba 1 VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Corumba 2 VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Don’t lose focus

We are out of our house and free to begin planning our move. Free to scout out Corumba’ to be sure we are hearing rightly from the Lord. Free from the worry and stress over losing out deposit and the injustice of house rental in Brazil (at least for the moment). I should be relieved and excited, instead I find myself flat. Not excited, not frustrated, not joyful, not depressed just flat. As I sit here this morning, thankful to see Melissa excited about a trip to Corumba I begin to realize why my heart is empty.

I had been focusing on me, my family a bit, loosing supporters money, the injustice of being asked to paint a house inside and out for thousands of dollars, focused on lots of things. Unfortunately the Lord wasn’t my focus anymore. Instead of seeking Him each day I have been waking up, trying to get out of the house, find leverage to use in the deal with the landlord, think of how to make the next month work. Very little of my time, in all honesty, has went into abiding.

This isn’t the first stressful or frustrating relationship breakdown I have ever had. Yes he asked for such unreasonable things it left no room to meet in the middle. Yes I would have liked to have a friendly ending. So what. I have learned that these things can only bother you while you are going through them. They are only worth the stress equal to the amount of time you will remember it in the future. I will have forgotten this in 2 weeks, barring no further problems.

I have a loving savior that desires my time, a loving father that has gently led and called me to Brazil. I interact every week with an incredible culture, going into a favela, teaching a little bible study in the home of some teenage girls. Perhaps having an impact that will last long after I am gone. I am forgiven of the way I treated my family during the stress. Forgiven of the daily shortcomings I can’t overcome. Why is that sometimes not enough to keep me focused on the one who has done it all. Colossians tells us all things will be brought together in Christ, he is all in all. Nothing else should matter.

I don’t want to get caught up in my struggles as a missionary in a foreign land. I want to remember to seek God, love Him, serve Him, pray for my friends and family. I hope you all feel free to write us and ask for prayer. We often have time. I want to be as concerned with the needs of all our friends back Home as I am with mine and those around me. It is just hard sometimes. I often feel like I am on an island, there are people around me but I am different. Only my needs exist and perhaps I begin to ignore the lives of those around and those at home. This breaks the purpose of the love one another relationships we were created for and begins to eat away at me inside.

Pray I get on track with daily seeking the Lord. Pray I lead my family in times of prayer for others. We have done this much of the time here but with stressful situations you can get thrown off course. In the next couple transitional months pray we get back on track quickly with the most important thing. Seeking the Lord, daily time in the word with no agenda. Abiding, seeking, obeying, loving and caring for others.

… Come and Go…

Things in life really do come and go. Emotions, seasons, family friends, all things. Some last a long time, hopefully family and friends, some are short but all things have an end.

Recently in my devotions I have read a few of the minor prophets, you know those books you say you believe are important but never read. The amazing thing is often Israel was in a state of disaster or impending disaster, the kind of season that overwhelms you as a person. You can’t stop thinking, can’t sleep, can’t function. Those seasons always ended. God was and is the only thing that is eternal. We are promised to share in that but we have a beginning. God always was and always will be. Those seasons of desperation must look so short to Him. He was telling Israel, look to me, this will end but they so often kept looking at circumstances, at their surroundings.

How often do we do the same thing. I know I had been. I was  continuing to try and seek the Lord, be led. I have been working on finishing the last part of our residency papers, praying with Melissa and the kids about “our calling”. At the same time I was getting discouraged about some of the ministry things that ended. Some of the hardships. Instead of being thankful for the season of fruitfulness I was getting discouraged by a different season. We are in a season of change. A season of paper work, packing, cleaning searching for a new house. We couldn’t move on to something I believe will much better match who God has made our family to be if the season of busy ministry hadn’t slowed down.

I am putting together notes to teach on evangelism. I am looking at the story of God, the bible. How do we spread our faith, what is it, what is the purpose. It comes down to answering some of life’s basic questions. Is there a God, who is He, what does he want from me?. As I looked at the story of creation,the purpose of life (to be a reflection of God’s glory, we were made in the image of God) and the fall of man I was again struck at God’s mercy in bringing death. Life is a season. When sin entered the world so did the curse. Life is hard, it is often painful and difficult. If it didn’t have an end who could take it. Imagine living eternally seeing wars, poverty, starving children, divorce, selfishness etc.… you would go crazy. Seasons are things of mercy. We were created to reflect God’s glory but because of a broken world, by us, we don’t have the ability to doo it perfectly or eternally. We need seasons.

As we have accepted the season of change, this time of difficult emotions and uncertainty we have seen God’s glory. His purpose in our lives. Over the weekend a mom and one of the girls we had been ministering with came by the church to see if I could help them pick something up and invite  us to a birthday party. When I delivered a big wooden wire wheel all the kids came to say hi. It was natural. Then at church yesterday a couple of kids came that come once in a while. Antonio was laughing just playing ping pong with me. Gabrielle a girl who lives by the church and also just shows up to play ping pong listened to me struggle to share the gospel in Portuguese, I pray something got through. These were all interactions with simpler people, all different but all simple.

Farm kids, a lonely girl, a family from the favela. All different but all a confirmation for us that God has called us to the simple places. Yes there are simple people here, yes we have been ministering to people here. Yes God is closing that and leading us to an even simpler area.

He is good. The seasons in our life have purpose. They will all end, good and bad. They will never be wasted.

Pain and Excitement

We are sure going through interesting emotions. So much excitement for what God is doing and what we may be going to. At the same time so much pain for what we are leaving behind.

When doors shut in order to open the doors to go to the Pantanal I think my fingers were in them. We had been getting to know some good kids. They were learning and growing. They seemed to have an appetite to grow. They suddenly disappeared and it hurts a lot. I don’t know if there is something we could have done different. Did we go to fast, did we come on to strong. It is almost like dating. More experience and time will probably shed more light on todays situation. I am also convinced with a little effort  we could get them back again. In the end though, I am fully convinced it is time for us to move.

Before then we plan to spend time in their neighborhood, play soccer, encourage them to get involved in one of the many churches within a few blocks and do our best to leave well. Up until now it has been a little to raw. When I think about going by I get sad, I don’t know what I am going to say, again it seems a lot like dating.

Maybe there are some ministry lessons to be learned in those similarities. I often am surprised at how similar things are to business and draw from those experiences. Today I will be negotiating with our landlord trying to end without a relationship breakdown but still protect my deposit. That is something that draws a lot from that period.

Maybe there is a time to treat people like you are chasing a girl. Christ called us his bride, he pursued us like a lost love. Maybe as ministers of the gospel that is the attitude we need. Maybe it is right and healthy that we hurt like a rejected suitor when things don’t work out.

God is good and in the end we have to leave people in His hands. It is Him they are responsible to not me. The kids and parents we had been working with ultimately need to desire God to the point they pursue Him. They need to find a church and plug in. I have to leave it in His hands.

We certainly can’t wait to get to Corumba, to scout out the next thing. There is so much to be excited about, but please pray that we leave well. That we have wisdom. That we love those we were serving.

Thank you all for praying. Love you much,

 

Ben and family

Understanding

After a little more than a year in Brazil, and a few years of planning to be missionaries we may finally be beginning to understand what that means for a family of 6. We left for Brazil with a lot of different ideas in our minds and hearts but little idea of specifics. Little idea of how to bring those things together. At times it made it very challenging. We would be sharing with people, raising support and our best answer for what we would be doing was go to Brazil and give glory to God. Our hearts have always leaned towards the poor, hurting, lost people who need Jesus.

When we first came we thought perhaps we would connect with the street peoples of Sao Paulo, perhaps work in a favela there. As we looked at apartments there it became clear our family wasn’t ready to live in a city of 20 million plus. We moved on to Foz to do a missions training school we had been planning to do a little later. It was a great time of learning, getting comfortable being a family in a second culture, Alannah being born and much more. We finished the school and settled into the process of learning language and getting our residency. Foz has been the perfect place for that. We began exploring some ministry options and learning who we are as a family. We discovered a heart for tribal peoples as we had some of our first experiences with them. We began to dream of maybe one day going to Africa, perhaps one of the Portuguese speaking nations like Guinea Bissau. I believe that may still be a part of our future, a country that has a much smaller church presence.

We then began to see some ministry open up here and satisfied ourselves with that. We began to understand God gives us dreams of the future but leads, guides and prepares a large family gently and slowly. There is a point where calling, preparation and timing come together. Until then it is a lot of fun but often painful success, mistakes and sometimes embarrassing learning experiences.

One thing that has been clear from the beginning is that we have a goal and desire to move further. To go closer to the edge of the frontier. We even considered changing our minds shortly before we came and heading to Jordan to do a school with YWAM. Not out of flakiness but because as a missionary your desire is to give the gospel to people who don’t have it. Everything in our lives is preparation for something further down the road at the same time as an opportunity to see God do something in the moment. We had been thinking of doing a school of frontier missions here in Brazil or in Argentina with YWAM but have come to the understanding our family needs to settle for a season. It isn’t easy to move and change.

Because of that, we had been thinking we would just settle here in Foz, grow the ministry we were seeing with the kids. Reach out here, open a youth center, perhaps see it grow into a church in a poor community. It wasn’t going to completely fulfill our desires but it seemed to be what God was doing. We left for a vacation to get some papers we need for our residency. When we got back the kids had disappeared. It quickly became clear God was shutting a door.

Over the last year our desire has grown to live in a more rural area. We love being with simple people. For people that have been to Mexico with WCC the area of San Luis is a perfect example. A small city in a rural region with lots of little towns around. There was a point several years ago we seriously were considering moving there to work with Caring Hearts. It is the perfect example of what we would want to do.

As we processed the shut door coupled with the last paragraph we began to see God clearing up our vision. We feel it is time for us to pick an area to settle into. Clear up our vision for people. We appreciate the way people have supported us just getting settled in. Getting our feet under us but now it is time to go somewhere.

Our hearts are clearly to be in a more rural region and we are going to go. We are going to begin by terminating our contract on this house. The year is up so we will give the owner notice tomorrow. We then will turn our focus onto the final paperwork for residency. These two things allow us to move out of Foz.

We believe God is calling us to a region known as the Pantanal. We have been researching a city Corumba, in Mato Grosso do Sul. It is on the edge of the Pantanal and the Bolivian border. North of the city is an area where some tribal people still live. It is full of Anacondas, big ones, Caymans (kind of a little crocodile), big fish, probably spiders and lots of other scary stuff. Not to mention being one of the major cocaine trafficking ports of the world.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corumb%C3%A1

http://maps.google.com.br/maps?q=corumba%20ms&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=pt-BR&tab=wl

Our hope is to find a place to rent in that area. We want to move there in December or January. My parents will be spending the winter in Brazil with Calvary chapel. It will be nice to spend Christmas somewhere with family. We then will focus on building relationships with local churches and scouting the region for a good property. We hope to visit the States and maybe Canada next June. We will be raising more support and hopefully funds to buy the property.

Our desire would be to build something like Caring Hearts in Mexico. Starting with building a shop for a vocational school as well as class rooms for tutoring, English classes and bible. Eventually we would like to see dorms for kids camps and for teams to come down. The location if it ends up Corumba is perfect for outreaches to poor simple people in both Brazil and Bolivia. Bolivia is the country in South America second in my heart. I have never been there but am very excited about the idea.

We have a Paraguayan friend, Ariel (not the little mermaid though he is little) ready to go with us. Nothing is 100% but we are praying together every week. He speaks Spanish, Portuguese and Guarani a native tongue. He has quickly become my best friend here. It is exciting, communication with a friend in both our second language.

We appreciate you all and want to give you an idea of our direction. For prayer but also so you know we have visions, dreams and goals. God is putting it in our hearts that now is the time to run after those dreams. Look at this passage from Isaiah 40

28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
30 Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.